13th April 2012
I thought it was time I dedicate a post to our experiences of the first few months of Wedding planning. The initial thoughts of each other’s families, the first few compromises and our hiring in of our ‘Kofi’
Both families have been guilty of stereotyping the other side. The ‘boy’s’ family presumed being Gujji, we would be tee-total veggies and that our weddings would be simple affairs. Not quite! My cousins wedding last year totalled around ten events that stretched over three weeks which included a Civil ceremony in Sorrento, a Garba weekend and a lavish Wedding reception, the liquor and lamb chops were definitely in attendance! (his was a pretty typical family Wedding for us)
We on the other hand presumed that as Hindu Punjabi’s they would be hard drinking party animals whose weddings would go on for days. Wrong again! Their family Wedding’s include two/three pre events at the family house followed by a one day event which included Civil, Hindu ceremony and reception. Their reception’s finish at 8/9pm and the family then returns to the grooms house to welcome the bride. (We do all that the next day-why waste a good dj/band?!)
Turns out it was us Gujju’s who like a good party.
My family were keen to host the Wedding in Goa (We love it there and visit 2/3 times a year) A five day party in the sun? Mehndi night on the beach? Sangeet on a boat? Yes please! But it was a No from the ‘boy’s’ family. : ( We have managed to somehow meet in the middle (it hasn’t been an easy compromise to reach) we will be hosting a two day event at our chosen venue. The Friday will be our Civil ceremony and Vidhi and the Saturday will be the Hindu ceremony and reception. I’ve even decided to host my Mehndi night near the venue on the Thursday night so even if I can’t get a five day party in Goa I can get a three day party here.
Our U.N mediator comes in the form of our event planner; my friend’s husband has been planning weddings for years. (and seeing as their wedding was amazing, I know our wedding is in good hands) We’ve chosen to hire event planners primarily as my mum puts it –‘ I want to enjoy my daughter’s wedding, not spend most of the time running around or cooking to then end up being a tired shell on the actual events’
The other reason is that we get a mediator at the same time, someone that can guide both sides into compromising and planning each factor. Seeing as there were, let’s put it diplomatically ‘tensions’ regarding the choice of a two day wedding the ‘boy’ and I are thinking our ‘Kofi’ will be handy over the bumpy road of wedding planning ahead!