3rd Nov 2014
I got my cupid on for my latest guest blog post for Match.Com. Am I am dating guru/know it all??! Hell no! but I def enjoyed answering the dating questions below. Let me know what you think. And if you didn’t read my first post for Match.com read it here…
Question 1 – cultural differences
I’m Scottish and have recently started dating an Indian guy. He’s very kind and I enjoy his company but I’m a little worried about the differences in cultures and wondered if you had any advice on dating an Asian guy?
Thanks for your email. I could give you a really unhelpful list of stereotyped tips like….
1) Enjoy curry, the hotter the better (a bottle of Tabasco should become a handbag staple)
2) Learn how to wrap yourself in a 7 yard piece of fabric (aka The Sari)
3) Learn how to walk in the above without looking like a penguin
4) Work on your Bollywood moves (screwing a light bulb is a classic)
5) Watch Bend it Like Beckham and East is East on repeat
But the best advice I can give you is to try not to stereotype because every single guy out there is different. It’s understandable to be slightly nervous of the unknown and the best way of overcoming this feeling is to get to know each other more- ask questions/learn about his culture and likewise talk about your background. From what you’ve said in your email – you’ve met a great guy- have fun!
Question 2 – how to find the right girl?
I’m a 30 year old Muslim guy. For the last three years I’ve been looking for a long term partner and I’m just fed up. I go on two or three dates a week whether it’s through internet dates or family set ups but nothing seems to happen. I met a couple of girls that I liked but after a few dates things just fizzled. My friends say I’m a catch- alright looking, good job, down to earth etc…so I just don’t know why I’m struggling to meet the right girl.
Thanks for getting in touch. It’s great to hear from a male dating perspective. It sounds like you have a major case of ‘dating fatigue’. I’ll give you a pat on the back for being pro-active but think you may have taken it too far the other way. You might be going on too many dates, so take your time, and think about what you’re really looking for in a date. You’ve said that you’re fed up and that jaded outlook is probably coming across on your dates. Also going into a date with the mind set that you are looking for a serious relationship can put pressure on the date and you may find yourself making snap decisions about people. Dating should be fun and you’re definitely not having any fun at the moment.
Take up a new hobby, spend time with your friends & family or join a sports team! Basically, use some of the time you were previously using to date on just you. And when you do feel like starting to date again- slow it down a little and go into the date with the mind set that you’re meeting a new friend- take the pressure off and in the words of John Legend- Take it Slowwwww!
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I’m with Asif 😀 Although Nina, problem on my side is people want to have too much fun. The wrong sort and fun isn’t for me – especially being a practising Muslim… I’m not interested in typical guys, any advice 😉 I can’t wait to do the relationships and marriage podcast! You’ve got a sneaky peak! HAHA
Glad you liked the post!